MY EGG DONOR STORY

In stories, we HEAL.

As I sit here thinking about the first time I was approached about using an egg donor, I can vividly see myself sitting at our dining room table looking shocked and staring into the backyard of our North Vancouver home.

Before that first call, we had experienced a twin pregnancy and had to TFMR [ termination for medical reasons ], several miscarriages, 2 failed IUI and had just started our IVF journey when we were told that my body didn’t respond well to the drugs and that we should think about alternatives.

The doctor that was supporting us on our journey had the worst bedside manner and I know that my PTSD was triggered and thus I didn’t feel safe with him.

Jennifer HeptonFebruary 28, 2020egg donor, pregnancy loss, stillbirth, pregnancy awarness, pregnancy after loss, fertility, infertility, infertilitysucks, INFANT LOSS, miscarriage awareness, miscarriage support, miscarriage Comment

Emotions in 2019

I saw a mother who wasn’t afraid to feel anxiety and joy. I also saw a mother who thought she wasn’t going to make it and felt exhausted and lonely at times AND she made it.

SHE FUCKING MADE IT.

I am honored to share my ✍🏽 JOURNAL + ANCHORING NLP STRATEGY with you and help you lean into your resilience and strength.

Jennifer HeptonJanuary 18, 2020pregnancy loss, parenting after loss, still birth, babyloss, miscarriage awareness, miscarriage support, fertility, infertility, fertility coaching, pregnancy loss coaching, motherhood coaching, parenting coach, conscious parenting coaching, ttc after loss, unexplained fertility, IVF, grief and loss Comment

LOVING CHRISTMAS AFTER OUR STILLBIRTH

I know what you are thinking, this lady has lost the plot!

I get it! It didn’t happen overnight and it took a while but I LOVE Christmas again because it means something completely different to us as we had to redefine it for ourselves after infertility and the death of our twins and daughter. As a Pregnancy Loss Coach, I work with several women who find holidays triggering and only feel sadness, overwhelm and isolation. I’ve been there and it is incredibly hard. I get it.

SELF CARE + LOSS

I STOOD OUTSIDE THIS MORNING IN THE SUN AND THOUGHT

WHAT HAVE I DONE LATELY FOR MY SELF CARE.

IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOUR LOSS HAPPENED LAST MONTH OR 10 YEARS AGO, OUR SPIRIT NEEDS RADICAL SELF CARE.

AND WITH GRIEF, OUR SPIRIT NEEDS RITUALS OF SELF CARE.

LET’S ADMIT IT!

TTC after a Loss

WHEN WE EXPERIENCE A PREGNANCY LOSS AT ANY STAGE THERE IS GRIEF.

HOWEVER, THE HUMAN SPIRIT DOESN’T WANT TO GIVE UP AND WE MOVE INTO THE NEXT PHASE OF OUR FERTILITY.

Jennifer HeptonJuly 29, 2019pregnancy loss, pregnancy loss support, still birth, stillborn, pregnancy coaching, TTC, ttc after loss, babyloss, babylosssupport, ivf, grief coaching, grieving mom, life coach, PREGNANT AFTER LOSS, miscarriage support, miscarriage, miscarriage awareness Comment

Finding your RETREAT

Let’s start by asking ….

Do you have a retreat?

Do you have your special, calming space where you are able to retreat, restore and refresh when the world gets too crazy and overwhelming?

Having a place where you find comfort when your grief gets too much is important in our healing process.

WHY?

Our minds and nervous system needs a break so that it can restore and fight another day. If we don’t have that, we will stress our adrenals and feel ill.

Jennifer HeptonJuly 15, 2019baby loss, babylosssupport, stillbirth, stillborn, pregnancy after loss, TTC, grief coaching, GRIEF COACHING, life coaching, pregnant after loss, pregnancy loss support, pregnancy loss support groups, group coaching for pregnancy after loss, ttc after loss, trying to get pregnant after miscarriage, miscarriage, miscarriage support

EMOTIONS. SO MANY FREAKING EMOTIONS.

I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS PREGNANT AFTER LOSING OUR TWINS THAT ALL I WANTED TO FEEL WAS HAPPY BUT COULDN’T.

I REMEMBER I TOLD MYSELF THAT THIS IS IT AND THIS IS OUR RAINBOW BABY. I EVEN WENT OUT TO BUY A BIB AND I WAS PLANNING ON TELLING MY HUSBAND THAT EVENING. SADLY, I MISCARRIED THAT NIGHT AND I HAD TO HIDE THE BIB AND TOLD MY HUSBAND A DIFFERENT STORY.

Jennifer HeptonJuly 6, 2019pregnancy after loss, TTC, miscarriage awareness, miscarriage support, stillbirth, stilborn, infertility, pregnancy coaching, emotions, grief, loss, life after loss, life coach, mindset coach, support for pregnancy loss Comment

Halloween Self Preservation after Pregnancy Loss

We are reminded once again of the memories that we are unable to make with our little ones. For me the sadness starts to creep [ Halloween word] in, when I start to realize that Loey will never be able to dress up like a super hero or a princess. Of course, a bad ass princess and super hero, because she is tough and brave like that. And, the fact she won’t know what a chocolate bar taste like or I won’t hear her begging for more treats before bed and of course me giving in at least once, because life is short.
I won’t be holding her hand as we walk the cold streets and knocking on doors.

I know I’m not alone in my feels.

So I thought I would share what I am doing this Halloween, and some tools from my grief ghostbuster’s toolkit for Halloween.

[ did you see that - another Halloween word]

Jennifer HeptonOctober 30, 2018pregnancy loss, grief, children and grief, loss and family, halloween and baby loss, halloween and grief, grief coach, grieving parents, support for grief, support for pregnancy loss, infant loss, baby loss, stillbirth, stillborn, miscarriage, miscarriage support, seattle grief coach Comments