As children there was someone who told us what we needed to get done, what we shouldn't be doing and how to clean our room. However as adults we don't have our parents telling us to get up and live our life. 

We need to get up on time ourselves, we need to take ourselves to the gym or for a walk and we need to eat sensibly. There isn't someone telling you what you need to do. It is all up to you. 

When we have experienced trauma or a loss, the need to live is really hard. Don't get me wrong, it's not about life or death, but more about living our life in the shit of it. Having to get up in the morning, having to feed ourselves, head into work and survive. 

There is a time to grieve and to heal and there is a time to parent yourself to get yourself out of bed. 

Personally, I know that I use to use grief as a crutch or as an excuse not to leave my flat, not to experience life and not to see friends.