TTC after a Loss
TTC AFTER LOSS
BUT WE ARE STILL GRIEVING
When we experience a pregnancy loss at any stage there is grief.
However, the human spirit doesn’t want to give up and we move into the next phase of our fertility.
TTC [ trying to conceive again ]
I remember our doctors would say, you can try again after 3 months and some would say after 6 months but nobody mentioned TTC after we have found support for our grief.
Everyone was very quick to get on with it again To avoid the sadness and pain and no one spoke about how the grief would/ could get worse.
So many of us rush into trying again because it’s a way of surviving and when you want to have a baby NOTHING else matters.
We get lost in our determination and most of the time we forget to mend our grieving heart in the process.
I remember when we started again so clearly. We were in Toronto for a business trip and I told Nic, there is no way you are going on your own because we have to have sex that week.
WE HAVE TO HAVE SEX SO WE CAN GET PREGNANT !
That’s how it worked before and it will work again …. right!?!
[ nodding my head as i am typing this ]
I went with him and I remember the hotel room being small and surrounded by windows looking down unto Toronto’s arts district but I wasn’t interested in the view.
I was on a MISSION and I needed to get pregnant and so we tried and tried and tried. I even drank a little too much wine one night so that I can just feel kinda sexy doing it for the millionth time.
We didn’t get pregnant and I FELT more disappointed than I have ever felt.
Now looking back it was probably because it was my grief showing up after our TMFR [ termination for medical reason ] of our beautiful twins and I was still in my acute grief.
I didn’t want to TTC the next month nor the month after that. I felt lost and overwhelmed with all my confusing emotions and decided to ignore them all. I was depressed and unmotivated and thought I was just hormonal.
I mean how many times have we heard that in our fertility season … you must be hormonal. No - I was grieving but I wasn’t given the opportunity to heal nor the opportunity to honor our twins.
I truly forgot to be PRESENT.
When we are PRESENT in our grief and in all our emotions, we are able to create awareness and space and in turn able to dig deep in our healing process to be able to TTC with resilience and inner strength.
I share this because I don’t want you to get lost in the having to TTC right after your miscarriage, stillbirth - pregnancy loss.
Healing after loss is important for our fertility season.
When you go through a loss you need to honor the process of grief and take time.
OMG PLEASE take time for your heart, soul and body need it before you TT.
It might be :
create a retreat in your home
planting a flower
seeing a therapist or a coach
plan a trip to somewhere you love
increase your self care
In our first week of IGNITE [ 30 day Group Coaching Program for TTC after LOS] we discuss how grief shows up for each of us and what we can do to recognize it, create space and honor it as we move towards pregnancy after loss.
We discuss tools, rituals, awareness and mindful practices AND that’s only the first week!
I would LOVE to invite you to our experience / program and if you are part of our email list - I will be sending out a discount code.
I’ve created this experience just for you and I truly believe it will be life changing and support you in moving from a place of chronic confusion and overwhelm to a joy and ease.
I would LOVE to know your thoughts around this and any of the blogs I write.
Your thoughts are valuable to me.
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