Posts tagged life after loss
SELF CARE + LOSS

I STOOD OUTSIDE THIS MORNING IN THE SUN AND THOUGHT

WHAT HAVE I DONE LATELY FOR MY SELF CARE.

IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOUR LOSS HAPPENED LAST MONTH OR 10 YEARS AGO, OUR SPIRIT NEEDS RADICAL SELF CARE.

AND WITH GRIEF, OUR SPIRIT NEEDS RITUALS OF SELF CARE.

LET’S ADMIT IT!

Read More
EMOTIONS. SO MANY FREAKING EMOTIONS.

I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS PREGNANT AFTER LOSING OUR TWINS THAT ALL I WANTED TO FEEL WAS HAPPY BUT COULDN’T.

I REMEMBER I TOLD MYSELF THAT THIS IS IT AND THIS IS OUR RAINBOW BABY. I EVEN WENT OUT TO BUY A BIB AND I WAS PLANNING ON TELLING MY HUSBAND THAT EVENING. SADLY, I MISCARRIED THAT NIGHT AND I HAD TO HIDE THE BIB AND TOLD MY HUSBAND A DIFFERENT STORY.

Read More
Grief and Boundaries

I know, it’s the last thing you want to think about at the moment - setting boundaries and telling people what to do, but I found this to be one of my saving graces after losing Loey.

 

So much of your health and general wellbeing depends on our ability to set and maintain good and healthy boundaries.

I think, and I am totally guilty of doing this, that women automatically default in taking care of everyone else and become the caretaker during loss and they forget about their own healing process.

Yes, sometimes it is justified but I do invite you to be conscious of your own healing process because unattended grief does not go away. It will stay in your body and create havoc.

Read More
JULY is International BEREAVED PARENTS MONTH

I bet you didn't expect to read this. 

Well, I didn't expect to be writing this.

But I am glad that you are here. 

My intention is to bring more awareness to this month, and you are helping me.

I share ideas below on how to help your friend who has lost a child. 

If you are a bereaved parent, my heart goes to you.

I hope this little blog resonates and helps in some way.

Losing a child is an unimaginable loss. 

Read More
What if you decided to believe that it could be no other way ......

It is the day after Mother's Day here in the States, and I think surviving my 6th mother's day after losing my twins and the first after losing my lovely little girl went well. 

As well as you can expect while living in grief and loss. 

Why and how .... 

I think truly it was because I had a plan. 

I had a plan of what I would like the day to be like, I had a plan that I could use as my go to, if all went completely pear shape. But, I  think most importantly I chose me. I chose to celebrate myself as a mom, and as a person. I also chose to honor my babies and my relationship with loss. I did what my soul craved most of - self care and love. 

Read More
s l o w i n it d o w n ...

That's my ego trying to survive. 

I want to keep myself busy, because I fear the pain and emotions that are about to hit me like a massive wave - I am talking about a BIG STORM WAVE. When we slow down and when we start saying no to things that don't nourish us, that don't excite us - that is when the true healing comes. 

Read More
my WHY

Grief is life changing and it can open up old wounds and challenge your belief system. 

When this happened to me - I felt alone and frustrated. I was able to find a grief therapist, however I needed someone to help me understand this crazy relationship with grief. I needed someone to help me move through this sense of incredible loss and live my new life with purpose. 

Read More
Transitions suck ....

We just got home from spending time away in the California sunshine. 

I know. Who wouldn't think coming back to cold and wet Seattle wouldn't be challenging .. 

But, when you are coming home to your grief bubble AKA home - it double sucks. 

It sucks because the person that you that would be there - isn't.

It sucks because the life you thought you would have - isn't. 

Read More
Easter :: creating new traditions with loss

Easter is my favorite holiday. I love the idea of Spring, the hunt for Easter eggs, the spring dresses, the sunshine and the excitement of family and friends sharing in the joy. 

But, I woke up this morning and I didn't know what to do. I usually wake up with excitement. I usually wake up with a curious little child like wonder hiding Easter eggs around the house ...


I was f*cking lost. 


I had thought that my little girl would be HERE. She would be 10 months ... smiling and looking at mom ... thinking what is going on here .... mommy has lost her mind with those chocolate eggs.


Read More