Power of Thought [ in a life after loss ]

MY BIGGEST CHALLENGE WAS WHEN WE LOST OUR BABY GIRL AT 39 WEEKS LAST MAY. MY WORLD BROKE INTO A MILLION PIECES AND I WAS ANGRY, FRUSTRATED AND SAD. IF YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED ANY LOSS, YOU KNOW THE DEPTHS OF SADNESS THAT CAN OVERCOME YOU.

A YEAR ON, I HAVE LEARNED A LOT ABOUT MYSELF AND ALSO HOW TO EMPOWER MY LIFE AFTER LOSS. CHANGING MY MINDSET AND CHOOSING A BETTER FEELING THOUGHT HAS HELPED ME IMMENSELY. I TRAINED MYSELF OUT OF ALWAYS SLIPPING INTO THE DOOM AND GLOOM PATHWAY AND PAVING A NEW NEUROLOGICAL PATHWAY, THAT WAS MORE HOPEFUL.

What is it that I do ?

I am creating the thing that I wished existed in this world by bringing a modern contextual twist to the idea of loss and grief. I am creating a movement of women who are not afraid of loss and will step into the depth of loss to learn how they can heal and grow in ways that they never thought possible. I am creating language of acceptance, of space, of time and of awareness around loss and grief. I am coaching, holding space and loving every woman I meet that has acknowledged their losses, and are trying their best to move with it, and find their sovereignty.

What if you decided to believe that it could be no other way ......

It is the day after Mother's Day here in the States, and I think surviving my 6th mother's day after losing my twins and the first after losing my lovely little girl went well.

As well as you can expect while living in grief and loss.

Why and how ....

I think truly it was because I had a plan.

I had a plan of what I would like the day to be like, I had a plan that I could use as my go to, if all went completely pear shape. But, I think most importantly I chose me. I chose to celebrate myself as a mom, and as a person. I also chose to honor my babies and my relationship with loss. I did what my soul craved most of - self care and love.

s l o w i n it d o w n ...

That's my ego trying to survive.

I want to keep myself busy, because I fear the pain and emotions that are about to hit me like a massive wave - I am talking about a BIG STORM WAVE. When we slow down and when we start saying no to things that don't nourish us, that don't excite us - that is when the true healing comes.

my WHY

Grief is life changing and it can open up old wounds and challenge your belief system.

When this happened to me - I felt alone and frustrated. I was able to find a grief therapist, however I needed someone to help me understand this crazy relationship with grief. I needed someone to help me move through this sense of incredible loss and live my new life with purpose.

Jennifer HeptonApril 16, 2018grief, grief coach, grief coaching, life after loss, infant loss, miscarriage, stillbirth, stillborn

Transitions suck ....

We just got home from spending time away in the California sunshine.

I know. Who wouldn't think coming back to cold and wet Seattle wouldn't be challenging ..

But, when you are coming home to your grief bubble AKA home - it double sucks.

It sucks because the person that you that would be there - isn't.

It sucks because the life you thought you would have - isn't.

Easter :: creating new traditions with loss

Easter is my favorite holiday. I love the idea of Spring, the hunt for Easter eggs, the spring dresses, the sunshine and the excitement of family and friends sharing in the joy.

But, I woke up this morning and I didn't know what to do. I usually wake up with excitement. I usually wake up with a curious little child like wonder hiding Easter eggs around the house ...

I was f*cking lost.

I had thought that my little girl would be HERE. She would be 10 months ... smiling and looking at mom ... thinking what is going on here .... mommy has lost her mind with those chocolate eggs.

a bit about me

Before, I start sharing more about how I got here, I would like to tell you about what brings me joy right now - you know celebrate the little things because right now THAT IS HUGE!

My two beagles [ Pips and Bea ] and their cuddles.
Teaching restorative yoga and meeting new yogis in my community.
Eating so much PASTA that I roll home [ well I can’t - but it would be fun]
The gluten free donuts from Cartems in Vancouver.
My matcha hemp lattes [come to mamma].
My husband’s English accent.
I have lived in Vancouver, London, Seattle and now Bellevue [ expat life for me]
My new art piece, that my hubby bought me for my office and reminds me of my daughter.
My mom’s Portuguese cooking [hello FOOD network - we have a star here !!!]
I think about my babies ALL the TIME. When I am smiling and when I am crying.