Easter :: creating new traditions with loss

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Happy Easter

[ happy chocolate Easter eggs ]

Easter is my favorite holiday. I love the idea of Spring, the hunt for Easter eggs, the spring dresses, the sunshine and the excitement of family and friends sharing in the joy. 

But, I woke up this morning and I didn't know what to do. I usually wake up with excitement. I usually wake up with a curious little child like wonder hiding Easter eggs around the house ...

 

I was f*cking lost. 

 

I had thought that my little girl would be HERE. She would be 10 months ... smiling and looking at mom ... thinking what is going on here .... mommy has lost her mind with those chocolate eggs.

I had thought that my parents would come by and we would have a glorious Easter brunch in admiration that their grand daughter was wearing her Easter dress that they bought for her and those adorable Easter shoes. OMGoodness - little girl shoes are so cute. 

We would go outside and daddy would be helping her look for Easter Eggs that he forgot where he placed, while our beagles sniffed them out, and mommy [me] smiling as I  place tulips in vases to welcome the day - 

I paused. 

I cried. Oh did I cry. 

I went for a walk. 

And, I began to feel her spirit. 

I can hear her now --- mommy let's do something ---

 

I bought tulips. 

 

I bought PINK tulips for my little girl. 

 

This is our NEW TRADITION. 

 

It does not make it easier, but it does allow me to connect .... connect with her on my favorite holiday. 

Our relationship with GRIEF / LOSS makes us create new traditions. 

Traditions that you NEVER thought you would have to do - especially with an out of order death or an unexpected loss. 

Creating new traditions have a healing effect on our heart, soul and mind. We create new meaningful connections with the ones we miss and still  LOVE so much. 

Love you Loey. 

Miss you Loey. 

We have pink tulips to enjoy. 

 

with love,

Jenn xo

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