Go on Parent yourself !

As children there was someone who told us what we needed to get done, what we shouldn't be doing and how to clean our room. However as adults we don't have our parents telling us to get up and live our life.

We need to get up on time ourselves, we need to take ourselves to the gym or for a walk and we need to eat sensibly. There isn't someone telling you what you need to do. It is all up to you.

When we have experienced trauma or a loss, the need to live is really hard. Don't get me wrong, it's not about life or death, but more about living our life in the shit of it. Having to get up in the morning, having to feed ourselves, head into work and survive.

There is a time to grieve and to heal and there is a time to parent yourself to get yourself out of bed.

Personally, I know that I use to use grief as a crutch or as an excuse not to leave my flat, not to experience life and not to see friends.

Power of Thought [ in a life after loss ]

MY BIGGEST CHALLENGE WAS WHEN WE LOST OUR BABY GIRL AT 39 WEEKS LAST MAY. MY WORLD BROKE INTO A MILLION PIECES AND I WAS ANGRY, FRUSTRATED AND SAD. IF YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED ANY LOSS, YOU KNOW THE DEPTHS OF SADNESS THAT CAN OVERCOME YOU.

A YEAR ON, I HAVE LEARNED A LOT ABOUT MYSELF AND ALSO HOW TO EMPOWER MY LIFE AFTER LOSS. CHANGING MY MINDSET AND CHOOSING A BETTER FEELING THOUGHT HAS HELPED ME IMMENSELY. I TRAINED MYSELF OUT OF ALWAYS SLIPPING INTO THE DOOM AND GLOOM PATHWAY AND PAVING A NEW NEUROLOGICAL PATHWAY, THAT WAS MORE HOPEFUL.

What if you decided to believe that it could be no other way ......

It is the day after Mother's Day here in the States, and I think surviving my 6th mother's day after losing my twins and the first after losing my lovely little girl went well.

As well as you can expect while living in grief and loss.

Why and how ....

I think truly it was because I had a plan.

I had a plan of what I would like the day to be like, I had a plan that I could use as my go to, if all went completely pear shape. But, I think most importantly I chose me. I chose to celebrate myself as a mom, and as a person. I also chose to honor my babies and my relationship with loss. I did what my soul craved most of - self care and love.

s l o w i n it d o w n ...

That's my ego trying to survive.

I want to keep myself busy, because I fear the pain and emotions that are about to hit me like a massive wave - I am talking about a BIG STORM WAVE. When we slow down and when we start saying no to things that don't nourish us, that don't excite us - that is when the true healing comes.